But mostly, it’s for me and for the times where decisions of right and wrong, and feelings of head and heart conflict. These posts are not directly aimed at anyone. Although some of them do come from experience of having dealt with certain kinds of people. Some are ‘inspired’ by words of advice from my best friends, namely Alisha and Rohan. So here begins a new phase. Hopefully I will remember every one of these steps for when I need them. 

***

STEP 1 

I think going through a dramatic or even slight change really puts things into perspective. I think especially when you’re making a change that involves not just yourself; it really shows the kind of person or people you’re dealing with. You need to think carefully then, if you realise negativity. People are not up to thinking both ways. Humans are selfish. Just varying degrees. Because deliberate distancing and conversation cut-offs are definitely the way to go for some people.

Deal with it.

Make your own changes.

STEP 2

If we hate, we hate together. If you disagree, you don’t belong. Leave them behind.

STEP 3

If you know a person well enough to expect something, anything short of that is balls. Expected reactions justified are awesome. Words and emoticons of happiness do not account up when there is no feel. Know better next time, stick with fulfilled expectations.

Don’t lower.

STEP 4

Some people just don’t care.

Don’t expect them to and don’t tell them to. It won’t make a difference. You will end up sounding stupid. So save yourself the embarrassment and wait it out until you no longer need for them to care.

You’ll get there. Eventually.

Eventually back to the people who always did/will.

STEP 5

If you personify two South pole magnets you get two people.

They repel.

They’re repulsed.

Forcing things together will get you nowhere. Give up and go only where you want to. Bring yourself up and walk the other way. Go North.

STEP 6

Time is the best of band-aids. Fortunately for us, time doesn’t rely on anyone. It, also, doesn’t wait for our dawdling, doubting selves. It goes.

So when in doubt, practice patience.

Time doesn’t harm.

STEP 7

“People will take advantage of your sensitivity.”

Don’t give more of yourself to people in a nonreciprocal situation. And to not expect the same back is very unhealthy. To yourself, you’re just being a ‘nice’ person. But to others, you’re an easy target.

Having said that, that are people worth giving more to. But very rare.

STEP 8

You will meet that person who will melt your insides with just a look. Right now, I’m playing safe on the idea that I already have.

But that’s based on very limited gazes and I’m too young to judge.

I may as well be wrong.

You can either take the hasty risk of turning someone you know into that person and try to keep a strong hold or you can play it safe. Let things go. Do not be hasty. Do not take the risk. And let that person come (back) to you.

And if you haven’t already met a possibility, don’t fret. You’re one of the lucky ones because it isn’t always all sweet and happy. The longer you get with it, the more difficult everything seems and the more tempting it gets to just give up.

(A little more of a wait wouldn’t hurt.)

STEP 9

Your smile gives off sparks.

You should let yourself smile more often, you should let yourself be caught smiling more often. You should let yourself go and you should let yourself laugh because somewhere out there, the sound of your laughter makes a heartbeat go faster.

Smile! It won’t hurt.

STEP 10

If you’re waiting on someone/something - Continue.

If you’re unsure, if you feel you don’t want or need to wait - Don’t.

It’ll come around without you needing to push it. But you have to be more than a little sure in standing your ground, believing that you’re right. And that you are definitely right.

Patience always pays off.

Always.

STEP 11

Rejoice. Do not dwell.

STEP 12

WATCH FOOTBALL! Or anything on TV.

STEP 13

The talks of silence being awkward will continuously bore into your mind.

But when it comes around to sitting quietly and talking, the silence feels great. It feels beautiful.

Because its only then you realise, you can keep the silence. It’s not as awkward as you thought it would be.

It’s not awkward at all.

Give it a go. Let it out and then listen to the calm in the breathing.

STEP 14

Between best friends, you never ask, apologize or thank for their time. You demand it. If they’re busy, you call them a FAG.

STEP 15

If you can see it happen, you’ll get to where it will.

Faith and patience go a long way.

Watch Disney movies while you wait.

STEP 16

Honesty, truth or making a point doesn’t require pages and pages of words. One simple sentence can do that job easily.

Stick to what you know; don’t brag.

Take as long as you want to think but as little as you can when speaking.

STEP 17

Never go against a decision you make to NOT do something. Never. You will regret it insanely. Stick. It. Out.

STEP 18

I used to keep walking in the same direction if I accidentally went the wrong way. Now, I laugh at myself, turn around and go the other way. Who cares who’s watching? You screwed up. It happens.

Never believe that screw ups in the past have messed up your future. They can’t.

If you need to slow down, take a break or go the other way, do it. But never stop completely.

STEP 19

If people don’t try for you, you don’t try for other people.

This downtime will tell you exactly what a person is worth, what exactly you are worth to a person.

Keep it going the way it is.

Usually the person won’t be worth the effort to change.

Usually the change will be temporary.

Usually the time will pass.

STEP 20

Once you form the opinion that something isn’t worth it, stick to that mind-set however much you dislike the consequences. Waiting never usually ends badly.

Never change the initial feeling.

STEP 21

If there is something irritating you, do something about it now.

STEP 22

Smile and say, f—- you.

STEP 23

People need to realise that some situations have to be dealt with WITHOUT consideration for ‘egos’.

Restrain on pride and you will remain where you are now.

And you will lose a lot more than you already have.

Act on instinct and you will get somewhere you won’t regret.

And you will gain things you never thought you could.

STEP 24

Ambiguity doesn’t get you anywhere. Neither does beating around the bush.

Indirect messages are worthless, lack effort and lead to assumptions, usually wrong.

Get a grip.

In short, sort your shit out.

Step 25

Stop being nice to people who take advantage of you/dont give anything back/are selfish.

They will come running back after a few days.

They always do.

Step 26

Some people never change.

They will remain however much you try. They are careless, selfish and downright ridiculous.

They are not worth you.

Repeat after me: They are not worth you.

Step 27

Keep hatin on people.

Whether it be hate or dislike, keep doing it.

No, seriously, there has to be good reasoning behind it. And if there is, open ye force field of spite.

Step 28

The only thing anyone should ever give up on is people.

Step 29

Never make yourself feel bad about people who you don’t feel deserve/d you.

Even if they were deserving of you, but you think they weren’t, you’ve got your own reasoning behind that and that’s good enough.

Forget it.